155. Parent Like He's In The Room

Key takeaways

Your identity should be rooted in faith, not external circumstances. 'I am' statements strengthen your consistency.
Avoid attaching 'if' to your core beliefs; conditions weaken your self-perception and foster victim mentality.
Focusing on what God thinks replaces external pressures with divine peace, transforming your parenting experience.
Parenting from a place of divine perspective fosters grace, patience, and authentic connection with your children.
Your mindset directly influences your internal atmosphere, so intentionally choose beliefs that empower and uplift you.

Summary

Parenting with Divine Perspective

Tess emphasizes the importance of shifting our focus from external judgments and societal expectations to a divine perspective. She advocates for parenting and showing up as our authentic selves by remembering that God is watching, which naturally brings grace, patience, and peace into parenting moments. Focusing on what God thinks of your actions transforms reactions to disruptions and difficult behaviors, fostering a more forgiving and peaceful approach.

The Power of 'I Am' Statements and the 'If' Limitation

A central theme is the significance of crafting clear 'I am' statements that define your identity rooted in faith, such as "I am of the vine of Christ, obedient, truthful, and God-fearing." Tess warns against adding 'if' to these declarations, which can lead to victim mentality and conditional self-worth based on circumstances. Instead, she encourages affirming who you are in every situation, regardless of external factors or difficult moments, to cultivate consistency and resilience.

Faith as a Foundation for Parenting and Self-Perception

Tess shares her personal journey of rediscovering her faith and how it influences her parenting and self-view. She compares God's unwavering love and patience to the ideal model for parenting, emphasizing that God's love doesn't depend on religion or perfection but on authentic relationship. Recognizing that her strength comes from her faith helps her parent with grace and instills confidence and belief in her children.

External Pressure Vs. Divine Focus

The podcast discusses how external pressures—such as societal judgements, family opinions, or perceived expectations—create stress and urgency. Conversely, focusing on God's perspective brings peace, patience, and clarity. Tess advises questioning what God thinks of your actions rather than worrying about what others think, which leads to more authentic and peaceful parenting.

Impacts of Mindset on Parenting and Life

Tess highlights that our mindset about ourselves, shaped by our 'I am' statements and 'ifs,' influences how we show up daily. Positive, faith-based affirmations lead to confidence and calmness, whereas conditions or doubts foster stress and incomplete presence. She underscores that our identity and mindset are foundational to the impact we have as parents and individuals.

Show notes

This episode is taking you through the foundation of your identity in these moments and to be mindful of the "IF" that limits you in the hard moments.

Your entire internal atmosphere changes when you move like God is watching you. Suddenly there's peace and surrender in the places you wrestled with perfection, people pleasing and approval of others.

Imagine you're in the room with your close family and friends and "everyone else's" kids were playing, using manners and doing the "right" behavior for the room. Then you hear your child screaming, pushing a cousin over and saying "no" to grandma. Oh, boy... what happens IN YOU next?

Well, that depends on what your focus is on.

"What does Jesus think of how I handle this?"

"What does (friend, family, stranger) think of how I handle this?"

With a mind set on Jesus you experience peace and a guided hand to help you through.

With a mind set on man you experience pressure- perfect, perform and please.

Which do you want and which do you have? Let's make forward progress here, together.