Masculinity as Confident Competence

There’s a lot of debate these days about what it means to be a man. But maybe the answer is simpler than we think, and a lot of masculinity just comes down to confident competence. A broad set of know-how. The ability to get stuff done. The capacity to move through the world with purpose and skill.

As someone who's lived several lives in one, Elliot Ackerman certainly embodies that ethos. He's a decorated Marine, a former CIA paramilitary officer, a National Book Award-nominated novelist, and now the writer of A Man Should Know, a column at The Free Press that explores the small but significant skills that shape a man’s life.

Today on the show, Elliot and I talk about why young men are struggling, how intention, discipline, and competence can change the way a man carries himself, and a few of the specific skills a man should know — from how to wear a watch to how to give a eulogy.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Elliot's novels
• Elliot's "A Man Should Know:" columns:
• How to Introduce Yourself
• How to Be a Friend
• How to Own a Watch
• Fields of Fire by James Webb
• The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien
• The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
• AoM Article: 100 Skills Every Man Should Know
• AoM Skills Archives
• AoM Podcast #307: Make Your Bed, Change the World
• AoM Article: 10 Ways to Be a Better Husband Today
• AoM Article: How to Choose a Watch
• AoM Article: How to Give a Eulogy
• AoM Article: A Eulogy for My Grandfather, William D. Hurst
• The Poetics of Manhood: Contest and Identity in a Cretan Mountain Village by Michael Herzfeld
• AoM Article: MacGyver Manhood and the Art of Masculine Improvisation
• Free Press discount code: subscribe at thefp.com/manliness, and save 10% off your first year

Connect With Elliot Ackerman

• Elliot on IG
• Elliot on X

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