Can Christianity be trusted? Mark Meynell on depression, church scandals and doubt

Luke introduces Mark Meynell, a pastor, author and ministry trainer, by asking how Christians can speak about peace when people are physically or mentally ill, grieving or otherwise struggling. Mark says Jesus’ peace must encompass life in a broken world: Jesus himself experienced fear, terror, sadness and mourning, so Christian peace is not permanent emotional calm. It is an objective reality that can run deeper and last longer than life’s storms, even when a person’s perception and experience feel chaotic. Mark’s emphasis is that Christians should face suffering honestly rather than pretend to be permanently joyful or “cloud nine.”

Mark traces his depression to his years teaching at a seminary in Uganda, where roughly a quarter to a third of the students were refugees from other African countries. One student, John, was kidnapped and tortured, and Mark helped arrange his release through a chain of contacts involving someone in government. Mark and his colleagues then protected John and his family for 18–20 months until they received asylum in Canada. The accumulated fear and responsibility produced flashbacks and exposed deeper vulnerabilities that Mark believes went back to childhood. After returning to Britain in 2005, he realized something was seriously wrong and began treatment, including medication.

While living in central London and preparing to join All Souls Langham Place, Mark heard a distant police siren in an art gallery and began crying uncontrollably. He became fixated on the irrational belief that he was about to be arrested, recognizing the siren as a trauma trigger connected with Uganda, where police had been implicated in John’s ordeal. He delayed starting at All Souls for several months and began medication and different forms of therapy. Mark says the process has continued ever since. Writing When Darkness Seems My Closest Friend initially helped him work out his own thoughts, then became a book after people found its material relevant to their struggles.

Mark found ministry at All Souls initially buoyed by its excitement and John Stott’s holistic vision of mission, but few people knew how unwell he was. A psychiatrist at InterHealth immediately prescribed medication and told him the condition was serious. In 2012, during an All Souls service in the “Christians Facing Issues” series, Mark publicly disclosed that mental health was an issue for him. Most people found this helpful, though some felt threatened because they wanted a pastor who could always be their strong support. Mark says publishing his book created a boundary: he will answer questions about it, but no longer gives repeated sessions on depression, except for carefully limited support to isolated ministry workers.

Mark says depression is common in varied forms, from a devastating episode to a lifelong dull ache, and need not be faith-threatening. He cautiously suggests that suffering may acquire meaning when someone’s experience helps another person, recalling the “jaw drop” of a woman who discovered that her vicar also took medication. He regards that possibility as a gift, without claiming to know why any particular suffering happened. Practically, getting a dog forced him to walk most days, which helped. Music and the arts have also sustained him; during one severe period he lost all response to music, a frightening experience because music had made him feel rooted, human and alive.

Mark explains Hutchmoot, the faith-and-arts conference that began in Nashville through singer-songwriter Andrew Peterson, his brother Pete and the Rabbit Room community. Its name combines Tolkien’s “hutch” imagery with “moot,” a gathering for discussion. Inspired by the Inklings’ meetings in Oxford’s Rabbit Room, the conference seeks excellence and creative boundary-pushing that remains God-honoring. Mark argues that Protestant churches often undervalue beauty, leaving Catholics and Orthodox Christians ahead in this area. Hutchmoot UK began around 2019 in Derbyshire; despite little advertising, its six gatherings have filled because artists want a setting where artistic ambition and Christian discipleship are not treated as opposites.

Mark argues that beauty is a challenge for atheism because sunsets, childbirth, nature and even an undiscovered Amazonian frog appear gratuitous and extravagant, not fully explained by mechanism. Human beings echo this abundance as “sub-creators.” He recalls Stevie Smith’s poem “Not Waving But Drowning,” whose image of a swimmer mistaken for someone waving captured his own inability to ask for help. He compares artists with biblical prophets: both notice realities others miss and communicate them powerfully, as Nathan’s story led David to recognize, “You are that man.” Art can therefore communicate truth without being reduced to a tool for producing a predetermined conversion.

In discussing the co-edited book Not So with You, Mark says spiritual abuse occurs when leaders exploit people’s devotion to God to make them do things. He connects today’s suspicion toward churches with a broader collapse of trust in institutions after abuses involving authorities such as police, teachers, coaches and politicians. Earlier skeptics often asked, “Is Christianity true?”; now many first ask, “Am I safe?” Mark says churches must acknowledge that people have good reasons to be cautious and cannot demand instant trust. Trust is built slowly through relationships, transparent hospitality and patience—not courses, pressure for attendance or numerical growth.

Luke asks about New Testament passages telling slaves to obey masters. Mark acknowledges the objection and distinguishes ancient slavery from the race-based Atlantic system, while noting that slavery existed in every culture and that the Indian Ocean and Middle Eastern trade was larger than the Atlantic trade. In Philemon, Paul sends the runaway Onesimus back to Philemon but tells him to receive Onesimus as a brother, radically challenging a system in which slaves were treated as objects. Mark admits he wishes Paul had explicitly said slavery was wrong and wishes some biblical passages were absent, but sees Paul working within a fallen society to subvert its assumptions and urges Christians to confront present-day exploitation.