Grief + Hope: Infertility, Miscarriage and the Weight of Waiting (w/ Chad and Hillary Blake)
· Summarized
Key takeaways
- God is with us in our suffering, not causing it, but present alongside us.
- Suffering and joy coexist; faith involves holding both in tension.
- Community, listening, and presence are critical in supporting those through grief.
- Hope rooted in Scripture and the Holy Spirit sustains us through long seasons of waiting and loss.
- Each person's journey through infertility and grief is unique; compassion and understanding are essential.
- Perseverance, character, and trust in God's faithfulness deepen faith and transform perspective.
Summary
The Journey Through Infertility and Loss
The hosts and their guests, Chad and Hillary, share their deeply personal story of struggling with infertility, experiencing multiple miscarriages, and navigating the complex emotions involved in waiting and loss. They reflect on the years of hope, disappointment, medical interventions like IVF, and the heartbreak of losing their babies. The narrative highlights the emotional toll, the physical and medical challenges, and the profound grief experienced along the way. Despite this, they emphasize that their journey, while filled with pain, led to a deeper understanding of God's presence and faithfulness.
Faith, Suffering, and God's Presence
A central theme of the episode is exploring how faith interacts with suffering. Chad and Hillary discuss their theological understanding that God does not cause suffering but is with us in it. They speak candidly about their frustrations, anger, and questions directed at God, yet affirm that God's presence offers comfort and hope in the midst of pain. They reference biblical stories and scriptures such as Romans 8, John 11, and Luke 11 to deepen their points that suffering, though dark, can be a part of spiritual growth and hope. They highlight that faith involves holding both sorrow and joy, and trusting in God's covenant faithfulness, even when the path is unclear.
The Power of Community and Listening in Suffering
The episode underscores the importance of authentic community in times of grief and suffering. Chad and Hillary emphasize that having people who sit with you in pain, without trying to fix it, is a divine gift. They share stories of friends who supported them during difficult seasons—sitting in silence, offering meals, praying, and simply being present. The hosts stress the significance of listening and offering graceful presence, rather than offering quick solutions or clichés. They also discuss the importance of praying boldly and persistently in hope, citing Luke 11, and the value of long-term perseverance in faith and emotional resilience.
Hope and Resilience in the Midst of Pain
Throughout the episode, there is a focus on cultivating hope amid ongoing disappointment. Hillary describes how, despite repeated losses, they clung to the biblical story of Abraham, choosing to hope beyond hope. They acknowledge that suffering can make hope seem foolish at times, but also highlight that hope rooted in the Holy Spirit is genuine and steady. They discuss the importance of perseverance, character, and trusting that God weaves a larger narrative of redemption and beauty through suffering. Their story illustrates that pain remains, but hope is sustained by faith, and the journey transforms perspective, allowing them to see their losses in a landscape of God's faithfulness.
Practical Wisdom for Support and Healing
The hosts offer practical advice for those supporting friends or family members dealing with infertility, miscarriage, and grief. They advise asking questions with sensitivity, sitting patiently with loved ones in their pain, and refraining from offering superficial positivity. They stress the importance of listening without judgment and acknowledging the ongoing reality of pain, even when others seem to move on. They also affirm that everyone's journey is different—some choose to grieve and wait, while others pursue options like medical intervention or adoption—and honor that each person must navigate their grief uniquely. The episode champions the idea that faith and hope are cultivated over time, through community, prayer, and perseverance.
Sponsors
- Intentional Parents · We want to invite you to two special gatherings this fall—the Intentional Motherhood Retreat in Portland, Oregon, October 15-17, and the Intentional Fatherhood Retreat in Austin, Texas, November 12-14. These retreats are spaces for encounter, healing, honesty, and transformation. You can learn more and grab tickets at IntentionalParents.org, and for all things fatherhood, visit IntentionalFatherhood.org.
- Intentional · Intentional is dedicated to spiritual formation in the family, providing biblical and practical hope. Visit their website for resources and to join their community.
Show notes
This week, we sit down with Chad Blake, Executive Director of Intentional, and his wife Hillary, dear friends who share their personal journey through infertility, miscarriage, grief, and ultimately, hope. With honesty and vulnerability, they reflect on the pain of longing to grow their family, the challenges of navigating infertility, and the ways God’s faithfulness sustained them through seasons of deep suffering and uncertainty.
Throughout the conversation, Chad and Hillary share what it was like to walk through years of uncertainty, prayerfully consider medical options, experience the heartbreak of pregnancy loss, and wrestle with questions about God’s presence in suffering. They discuss the unique ways infertility impacts both men and women, the loneliness that can accompany long seasons of waiting, and the importance of having people who are willing to sit with you in grief rather than trying to fix it. As they candidly share their experiences with miscarriage, anxiety, therapy, and healing, they offer wisdom for those walking through similar struggles and for those seeking to support loved ones dealing with infertility.
At the heart of this conversation is a powerful reminder that God is with us in our pain. Rather than offering easy answers or neatly tying a bow around suffering, Chad and Hillary explore how faith makes room for both joy and sorrow, grief and hope. They reflect on how seasons of pain and waiting turned theological theory into lived reality, and how God’s faithfulness through every chapter has deepened their trust in Him. Their story is a testimony that while suffering is real, it does not have the final word, and that even when hope feels foolish, God remains present, trustworthy, and at work.
Scripture Mentioned: John 11:35, Romans 8:28, John 14:9, John 1, Romans 4:18-22, Romans 5:3-5 + Luke 11:5-10
Books Mentioned: The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis, A Grace Disguisedby Jerry L. Sittser
Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, OR
Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX
Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalparents.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.
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