Raising Daughters: Preparing Ourselves to Prepare Our Girls

Key takeaways

Self-awareness and listening to the Spirit are critical for moms to pass on healthy spiritual and emotional formation to their daughters.
Women’s biblical identity includes being helpers and givers of life, which are rooted in the divine character of God.
Daughters should be taught that their voice matters and that they can speak with wisdom and graciousness, exercising strength under control.
Biblically, women have always worked—whether in large household management, business, or community leadership—and their roles are diverse.
There's no single formula for womanhood; God equips women with different gifts and calls them to different paths, and parenting should reflect that diversity.
Teaching daughters their God-designed identities helps them see themselves as powerful, life-giving, and integral to God's plans, regardless of marital or maternal status.
Encouraging transparency about the messiness and seasons of life, especially motherhood, prepares daughters for realistic expectations and trusting God's timing.
Mentorship and community are essential, as no one should parent in isolation; seeking models who balance work and family well is vital.

Summary

Introduction to the episode's theme: raising daughters

The episode opens with Elizabeth and Diane reflecting on the importance of intentionally raising daughters to understand their identity as women. They discuss their personal experience of raising five daughters and observing five granddaughters, emphasizing the depth of their insight. Diane shares her recent activity of writing on Substack, which she describes as a personal, conversational space for sharing her thoughts on faith, motherhood, and life. She highlights the supportive community there and encourages listeners interested in developing their voice as writers.

The importance of inner formation before passing on to daughters

The conversation shifts to what moms need to do internally to prepare themselves for guiding their daughters effectively. They underline the importance of self-awareness, especially regarding woundedness, and listening to the Holy Spirit, who knows their daughters better than any book or social media can. Diane shares about her own journey of healing and growth through her faith and experience, which primes her to teach her daughters. They underscore the need for moms to reflect God's character and be open-handed, non-controlling, and Spirit-led in their parenting.

Teaching daughters about their God-designed identities: helper and giver of life

Elizabeth and Diane explore foundational biblical truths about womanhood rooted in Scripture, especially Genesis. Diane discusses the Hebrew word 'ezer,' often translated as helper, explaining it as a powerful, military term denoting a protector and rescuer—an image of strength and support, not mere assistance. She emphasizes that women are inherently made to be helpers and life-givers, regardless of whether they marry or have children. They talk about how this identity reflects the divine image of God, who is our help, and how understanding this reshapes their teaching about women’s roles, encouraging daughters to embrace their God-given design.

Teaching young women to have a voice and speak with wisdom and graciousness

The episode emphasizes the crucial need to teach daughters that their words are powerful and that their voice matters. Diane shares her own realization, learned late, that women need to speak up and be heard, but with discernment and graciousness. They discuss common misconceptions—like women needing to be silent—and stress the importance of cultivating a voice that is both confident and gentle. Elizabeth and Diane advocate for young women to learn when to speak, to listen well, and to speak with strength under control. They use personal examples like their daughters’ leadership roles to illustrate healthy voice use.

A biblical and historical view of women’s work and career

Moving into the theology of work, Elizabeth and Diane reexamine Proverbs 31 and other biblical examples to highlight that women have always worked—be it managing households, tending businesses, or leading in community. They challenge cultural myths that idealize the stay-at-home mom or the career-focused woman as the only models of womanhood, pointing out the diversity in biblical women’s roles. Diane emphasizes that women’s work is varied and that God values all forms of labor, including careers, motherhood, and service to others. They encourage transparency about the messiness of these roles and advocate for giving daughters the freedom to pursue their passions and careers according to God’s calling, while also valuing the option of staying at home.

Show notes

What do we actually want our girls to know about being a woman? Join us for a conversation between Elizabeth and Diane, where we draw on our experience raising daughters to explore what God needs to form in us first so we can pass it on to them. We look at what Scripture says a woman is and share what we wish we’d done differently. We push back on the lie that there’s one right way to be a woman, and talk about coming alongside our daughters rather than telling them who to be. That begins with two foundations: becoming aware of our own woundedness, and listening to the Spirit, who knows our daughters better than any parenting book or Instagram reel ever could.

From there, we begin walking through three things to teach our daughters. The first is her design. From Genesis 1–3, we unpack the idea of the “ezer” and the woman as a giver of life. Even if she never marries, she is an ezer, and even if she never becomes a mother, she is a giver of life. That identity in Christ doesn’t change. The second is to have a voice and use it with wisdom. Her voice matters, she doesn’t have to stay silent, and she can speak with graciousness.

The third is a healthy theology of work. We add context to the Proverbs 31 woman, a passage often used to pressure women, and point out that women have always worked, though rarely without a village around them. We want to give our daughters the freedom to pursue hobbies, passions, and careers, and to be honest with them that work and motherhood collide in messy ways. God cares more about our formation than about labels like stay-at-home mom or successful career woman. This conversation was so rich and full that we’re saving the last two points for a part two, coming soon.

Scripture Mentioned: Genesis 1–3, Proverbs 18:21, Proverbs 21:9 + Proverbs 31

Book Mentioned: Hearing Godby Dallas Willard

Previous Podcast Episode Mentioned: Walking With Kids Through Grief, Good News in Sad Stories + Singleness in Church (Interview with Annie F. Downs) (Apple Podcasts, Spotify + YouTube)

Diane’s Substack: A Quiet Place

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