The Intentional Parents Podcast
We Love Each Other. So Why Is Marriage This Hard?
· Summarized
Key takeaways
- Marriage is a process of continual growth and healing that benefits from divine guidance and prayer.
- Praying regularly, even imperfectly, can bring about significant transformation in your marriage and personal life.
- Starting small in prayer and kindness creates space for God's Spirit to work in and through your relationship.
- It's normal for prayer and spiritual practices to feel awkward at first, but persistence and vulnerability lead to greater intimacy and strength.
- Supporting one another and seeking community through resources and retreats can rejuvenate and deepen family bonds.
Summary
The Purpose of Marriage and Its Challenges
The hosts reflect on marriage as a profound way God reveals and shapes us. They candidly discuss the difficulties they've faced in nearly 20 years of marriage and emphasize that marriage is inherently challenging, which calls for divine help. The conversation underscores that real life messiness—such as neurodivergence, chronic illness, and family drama—requires a reliance on the Holy Spirit for healing and growth rather than merely following formulaic advice.
The Heart Behind the Prayer Devotional for Marriage
Elizabeth and the host share the story behind their new prayer devotional, designed to support marriages through daily prayers that invite the Holy Spirit to heal, grow, and flourish relationships. They highlight that this resource was born from their own struggles and learning experiences, emphasizing the importance of prayer in transforming marriages. They also discuss the collaborative process of writing the devotional, including the challenges and insights gained from working together.
Importance of Prayer in Marriage and Personal Growth
The podcast stresses that consistent prayer is essential for a thriving marriage. They talk about how praying borrowed prayers or using guided prayers can help open lines of communication with God and each other. The hosts encourage starting small—taking one prayer or act of kindness—and trust that God's Spirit will work through those small acts to bring healing and vitality to the marriage. The conversation emphasizes that prayer helps us better see our spouses and develop a gentle, life-giving posture.
Practical Tips for Building a Prayer Routine
The hosts acknowledge that praying together as a couple can feel awkward or difficult at first but are reassured that it gets easier over time. They encourage couples to start where they are, even if imperfectly, and remind listeners that the Holy Spirit loves to meet us in our honesty and vulnerability. They highlight the value of incorporating prayer into daily life, using resources like the devotional, but also emphasize that initial steps can be simple and spontaneous.
Community and Support through Resources and Events
The podcast promotes their devotional as a tool for individual and couple prayer routines, available exclusively through their website as a thank-you gift for monthly supporters called Legacy Builders. They also mention other events like retreats for motherhood and fatherhood, designed to help parents and spouses find renewal and connection. The hosts highlight the importance of community, prayer, and ongoing support in strengthening family life.
Sponsors
- Intentional · This episode is brought to you by Intentional, an organization dedicated to spiritual formation in the family. They offer resources like prayer devotionals and retreats to help families grow closer and deepen their faith.
Show notes
This week, we open up about Sowing a Hidden Seed: Daily Prayers for Your Marriage to Heal, Grow and Flourish, our new prayer devotional for marriage, and the honest, sometimes hard road that led us to write it. This isn't a book born from a picture-perfect marriage. It came from a real one: two people who have had to learn, over and over, that marriage is worth the fight even when it's hard.
We walk through the heart of the devotional and where it came from, including a reflection from the Sermon on the Mount on what it looks like to be blessed and flourishing, even in the middle of struggle. We talk honestly about how neither of us can thrive in marriage on our own strength. We need the power of the Holy Spirit. We also share how the writing process itself became a lesson in marriage: two people learning, again, what it means to become one.
From there, we read from two of our favorite (and hardest won) days in the devotional: “Speaking Life” and “Tenderness,” days that speak directly to areas we've each had to grow in. We talk about the practice of praying borrowed prayers when you don't have your own words yet. And ultimately, we emphasize the comforting reality that if you and your spouse aren't currently praying together, that's okay. Give yourself permission to start where you are. It will feel awkward at first, and it gets easier as you build a joint practice of prayer.
If you're not praying together as a couple, let this be your invitation to start, one small, imperfect prayer at a time.
Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.
Scripture Mentioned: Matthew 5:1-12
Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, OR
Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX
Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalparents.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.
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