Why Kindness is the Most Underrated Business Strategy

Gary argues that kindness, empathy, and overcommunication are not merely “soft skills”: he values them more when wearing his business hat because they drive retention and employees’ ability to do their jobs. He says CFOs often miss the hidden cost of turnover by reducing organizations to spreadsheets. If employees spend 30–50% of their mental and emotional energy worrying about internal politics, technology, or job security, they cannot perform at full capacity. A leader’s central responsibility, like a parent’s, is to mitigate fear, although some leaders weaponize fear for short-term production.

Gary says people should worry about AI not because robots will necessarily replace them, but because humans who know how to use AI will replace people who refuse to learn it. He compares resistance to earlier generations mocking relatives who could not use AOL Instant Messenger or switch from BlackBerry to iPhone, arguing that many professionals have become the technologically resistant grandparent. Technology is “undefeated,” so fear-based opinions about what AI might take away are a losing strategy. He urges listeners to spend the necessary time learning it and become “maybe” people rather than rejecting new technology immediately.

Gary says he works for VaynerX’s 2,800 employees rather than expecting them to work for him; leaders who focus on bringing value to their organizations can ultimately get what they want. He describes humility and self-awareness as a “poker tell” of a potentially high-level executive. Leaders should acknowledge where they are weak, put their energy into their strengths, and surround themselves with people who complement them instead of trying to turn every weakness into a strength. This also lets them empower employees with greater abilities rather than suppressing them.

Gary calls optimism “the only practical human trait,” saying that people who look for negativity will find it, while love and positivity are more widespread than cynicism. He distinguishes sustainable confidence grounded in optimism from insecurity used as temporary fuel. Asked whether a CEO can preserve warmth while growing a company, he says circumstances matter: a public-company CEO may be fired after a 30% stock decline, whereas Gary can choose his priorities because VaynerX is private and has no board. He believes many entrepreneurs lose their course after taking outside capital and that the best CEO role is to grow both the business and the people.

Gary attributes his people-driven approach to his mother’s combination of unconditional love, self-esteem building, and strict accountability. Born in the Soviet Union, he lived in a studio apartment with eight family members for two years and learned by age eight that having little money did not prevent happiness. He later moved to Edison, New Jersey, worked in his father’s liquor store from age 14, and developed a strong sense of gratitude for the luck involved in his success. He says that warmth and kindness need not be sacrificed to build an empire, even though many companies let finance become their only North Star.

When an audience member asks whether positive intent is enough, Gary answers that action and accountability matter too. He recalls an employee, Steve Unwin, challenging him that intent means little without execution, and admits VaynerX once emphasized love so heavily that poor behavior had too few consequences. The company now uses “kind candor”: unlike “radical candor,” which some executives used as permission to insult subordinates, kind candor combines direct feedback with consideration. Gary says every company must find its balance; VaynerX needed more candor, while other organizations primarily need more kindness.

Gary describes finding a Facebook group in 2015 made up of former employees from his first 150 workers. Although he believed he had close relationships with the roughly 30 members, they were privately venting about him. He realized he had been too affectionate and conflict-averse to tell people when their work was not good enough, sometimes buying them wine on Friday and avoiding the difficult conversation on Monday. He calls himself “a bitch” in that period and accepts responsibility for enabling the problem. The experience pushed him to become more candid, just as hiring a trainer had forced him to change his health habits.

Claude Silver says workplace kindness is a strategy embedded in an organization’s operating system, not an occasional coffee or polite gesture. She distinguishes “nice,” which can be performative and fleeting, from kindness, which means staying for someone’s answer, listening, and acting from genuine generosity. Kindness has a “spine,” requiring courage and bravery, but it must be balanced with accountability and a clear organizational direction. She says kind actions create a “helper’s high” involving oxytocin and dopamine, and that emotions spread through teams; a researcher she cites found the positive effect lasts about four minutes, so organizations need repeated kindness moments.

Gary says he will fire anyone who is not a good human being regardless of how much money they make, because allowing a high-performing jerk to remain damages the culture and creates hidden long-term costs. Claude gives the example of a director whose Pepsi work was excellent and whose clients loved him, but who repeatedly talked down to people, especially women. After multiple complaints, Gary told Claude to let him go. She says leaders should investigate whether harmful behavior reflects burnout or a personal crisis, but must still make clear that it will not continue. The damage includes fear, lost oxygen in meetings, and employees leaving.

Claude explains that her grandmother, whom they called “heart,” remained generous after living through hardship, including the death of a child. At a grocery store, her grandmother would hand the cashier her card, learn her name, and say, “Would you do me a favor and have a peaceful day?” Claude says this lifted the cashier and everyone who followed. Her grandmother taught her never to forget family, never to go to bed angry with a partner, and always to be of service. Claude believes how people treat others expresses how they treat themselves and that consistent kindness can change a person’s entire day.