How to Get People to Say Yes | Ryan Serhant

Ryan Serhant emphasizes the importance of being comfortable with embarrassment as a key to success. He argues that taking risks and risking public shame can lead to greater monetary rewards, as those who are willing to embarrass themselves often make more money. He shares his personal rule that if someone invites him on a podcast, they better give him a gift first—highlighting how small gestures or surprises can influence perceptions and opportunities. He then discusses the importance of leveling up by placing oneself in high-stake situations. For example, he transitioned from focusing on rentals to sales, which was initially a 'fake it till you make it' situation but with a mindset of future self-visualization rather than deception. He advises that entrepreneurs should say no to comfort and routine, actively seeking out opportunities to stretch their capabilities in order to increase earning potential and reduce burnout.

Ryan recounts his experience auditioning for 'Million Dollar Listing' and how he prepared himself as if he were already on the show, acting as his future self. He details the strategic and psychological preparations, such as waking early, showing a exaggerated lifestyle, and creating a persona that projected confidence. He emphasizes that his goal was not to fake anything, but to align current actions with his future self—an approach he considers more authentic. He describes how he used staged efforts, like arriving at the audition early, and how he manipulated perceptions—such as pretending to be tired or unfiltered—to make himself stand out. Ryan also talks about the importance of follow-up, persistence, and the art of relationship-building, which he applied even in unconventional scenarios involving potentially shady deals or encounters. His story underlines the importance of acting as if you are already where you want to be, to attract the opportunities you desire.

Ryan details his sales philosophy grounded in building genuine relationships rather than traditional selling. He advocates for the 'two Cs'—finding something in common, then asking questions to keep the conversation going, avoiding the hard sell. His philosophy is that the best sale is no sale; instead, you craft an environment where a client feels engaged and not pressured. He describes an approach called 'Codo,' which involves establishing clear expectations and next steps early on. Ryan also emphasizes the importance of understanding that selling the dream is more effective than selling a product, especially in high-end real estate. When dealing with egos or complex negotiations, he recommends over-communication, respecting all parties, and partnering with ego rather than fighting it—playing for everyone to win, which ultimately closes more deals.

Ryan shares how early in his career he recognized the power of media to generate leads and grow his personal brand. He discusses leveraging reality TV, social media, especially Instagram, and YouTube to showcase his properties and personality. Ryan highlights that distribution is the most valuable business asset, and that showing up consistently on video helps him stay relevant and attract clients. He stresses that content creation doesn't require full-time effort—he recommends simple solutions like recording short videos using AI avatars or engaging small business owners for content. Ryan's strategy of building community and trust through pull marketing—rather than push advertising—has been pivotal in his success, allowing him to command premium deals and embed himself deeply in the industry.

Ryan narrates a series of challenges, including his lowest moments when he lacked money and faced rejection, such as a card being declined in a store or feelings of failure. He recounts specifically how he called his mom and friends for support and how he decided to persist with real estate despite starting from scratch during the economic crash of 2008. His long-term follow-up practice—such as contacting a potential client biweekly for five years—paid off when he finally closed several multimillion-dollar deals. Ryan advocates for relentless follow-up, explaining that most people give up too soon. His relentless attitude towards following a lead or prospect, paired with strategic relationship-building and patience, enables him to convert seemingly lost opportunities into major successes.

Ryan discusses his perspective on success, emphasizing happiness, legacy, and making a positive impact as his macro goals. He admits that despite achieving great wealth and fame, he feels driven by a sense of responsibility and the desire to help others. He speaks about continuous growth as essential to his happiness, acknowledging that even with wealth, he remains ambitious. Ryan also reflects on his humble beginnings and how his childhood experiences with rejection and being an outcast fuel his resilience and drive. He advocates for hard work, endurance, and maintaining a positive attitude, emphasizing that one should not excuses based on past hardships but instead use them as motivation to improve.