Stanford Psychologist: 7 Small Things That Make a Huge Difference in How You Feel

Key takeaways

Joy is a vital resource that motivates us to live and endure, especially during tough times, rather than being a sign of perfection or happiness at all moments.
We already possess internal resources—such as our body, brain, attention, instincts, emotions, choices, and relationships—that can be harnessed to cultivate joy, resilience, and meaning.
Engaging in simple, intentional acts like moving your body, listening to music, recalling meaningful memories, and connecting with others can significantly boost your mood and outlook.
Reframing stress as a helpful signal and resource, rather than a betrayer, allows us to use it to fuel courage, motivation, and growth.
Building strong, authentic relationships and allowing ourselves to both give and receive support are essential for sustaining joy and resilience in life's challenging moments.

Summary

The Power of Joy and Its Importance

In this episode, Mel Robbins is joined by Dr. Kelly McGonigal, a renowned Stanford psychologist, to explore how joy functions as a fundamental resource for living a meaningful and resilient life. Dr. McGonigal emphasizes that joy isn't about perfection but about finding moments of happiness, connection, beauty, and purpose amidst life's challenges. She discusses the concept that joy is a survival instinct—something that motivates us to continue, especially when faced with life's hardships. Joy can be cultivated from simple, everyday moments, such as noticing nature, engaging in activities we love, or connecting with others, regardless of external circumstances.

Resources and Practical Strategies to Cultivate Joy and Resilience

Dr. McGonigal elaborates on seven key resources within us—body, brain, attention, instincts, emotions, choices, and relationships—that help us access joy and navigate despair. She offers tactical advice, such as using movement to activate 'hope molecules,' harnessing positive memories for courage, and shifting attention to positive signals around us. She also highlights the importance of self-compassion, leveraging meaningful memories, and understanding that small acts—like listening to a favorite song or spending time with pets—can significantly boost mood. The episode provides practical, science-backed techniques to build resilience, such as practicing gratitude, asking for help, and intentionally creating moments of joy, even in difficult times.

Understanding and Using Stress as a Tool for Growth

Addressing common misconceptions about stress, Dr. McGonigal explains that stress signals our body and brain to give us energy and connect us to what matters most, rather than betraying us. She underscores that our physiological responses—such as heart racing—are signals of potential, not failure. She encourages reframing stress as a resource by thanking our bodies for their preparedness and focusing on what we can do in the moment. Her insights promote an optimistic view that stress, when understood correctly, can be harnessed to foster courage, motivation, and resilience.

The Value of Connection, Help, and Interdependence

The episode highlights the importance of relationships and community as vital resources for joy and resilience. Dr. McGonigal emphasizes that sharing positive moments, supporting others, and allowing ourselves to be supported enhances our sense of belonging and hope. She encourages openness about struggles to deepen connections, stressing that asking for help and celebrating others’ happiness are acts of collective care. The significance of interdependence is stressed—that caring for others and being cared for propagates joy and strength in times of hardship.

Show notes

You don’t have to wait for your life to get easier to start enjoying it.

Today, Mel sits down with Dr. Kelly McGonigal, a renowned health psychologist, award-winning Stanford University lecturer, and bestselling author whose work focuses on stress, resilience, and joy.

She’s here to show you how to feel more alive again by making 7 small shifts.

And you already have everything you need to get started.

Dr. McGonigal will walk you through your body and brain’s built-in resources for joy, connection, hope, and courage, and show you how to put them to work.

Your muscles, for example, are like a pharmacy inside your body, releasing “hope molecules” when you move. And you don’t have to crush a workout to get started. A walk with your dog or a little dancing in your kitchen counts.

One of Dr. McGonigal’s biggest insights: You need joy precisely because life can be hard. Those moments of laughter, closeness, and pleasure give you reasons to keep going, and you can learn how to create more of them.

And you can practice these mood-boosting shifts on your next walk, between errands, or while spending time with someone you love.

You’ll learn:

–What joy really does for you and why your brain needs it

–How your muscles can make hope – seriously

–How to make stress your friend and use it to your advantage

–How to use a favorite song to shift your mood and get yourself going

–How to turn a meaningful memory into courage you can use today

–How to train your attention to notice more of the good around you

–3 research-backed sources of hope you can tap into when you need a lift

You have not lost your ability to feel joy. And you don’t have to wait for it to find you.

You’ll leave this conversation with small things you can do today to feel more like yourself, connect with people, and get more enjoyment out of the life you’re living.

For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page.

If you liked this episode, listen to this one next: How to Stop Negative Thoughts & Reset Your Mind for Positive Thinking.

Mel also wants to tell you:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.