The Mel Robbins Podcast

Give Me 60 Minutes and I'll Eliminate Your Self-Doubt Forever with Benny Blanco

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Key takeaways

  • Success is built on the consistent act of showing up, despite fears or setbacks.
  • Failure is a natural and necessary part of growth; embracing it and forgetting it quickly—'failure to amnesia'—helps maintain momentum.
  • Small, daily actions—moving the proverbial three inches—compound over time to create big results.
  • Fear and self-doubt are normal; persistence, exposure, and deliberate effort can help you manage and overcome them.
  • Life balance involves nurturing relationships, purpose, and health simultaneously; realignment is vital when one area suffers.
  • Timing and self-awareness are critical in relationships; patience and personal growth unlock opportunities for love and success.
  • Every journey includes rejection and setbacks—what matters most is the unwavering commitment to keep going.

Summary

The Power of Showing Up and Facing Failure

Mel Robbins introduces Benny Blanco as a prime example of someone who achieved spectacular success without innate talent or early privilege. Benny emphasizes the importance of simply showing up daily, embracing failure, and persevering through rejection and setbacks. His personal stories, including his career in music and overcoming a fear of flying, highlight that success is often the result of consistent effort despite fears and doubts. Benny advocates for the mindset that failure is a necessary step on the road to success and encourages listeners to keep moving forward even when tired or discouraged.

Overcoming Self-Doubt and Rejection

Benny discusses how rejections and setbacks are part of the journey, sharing stories from his career and personal life. He explains the concept of 'failure to amnesia,' which involves forgetting failures quickly and not dwelling on them. Benny advocates for taking small steps daily—like moving a project forward three inches—to build momentum. He acknowledges the internal struggles of self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and fear, emphasizing that everyone—including highly successful people—experience these feelings. The key is to persist regardless of these feelings, realizing that both success and failure are part of the process.

Creating a Life of Balance and Intentionality

Benny uses the metaphor of a three-legged stool—composed of relationships, purpose/impact, and health—as a foundation for a fulfilling life. When one area suffers (e.g., strained relationships or poor health), life feels off balance; when all are strong, life is stable and satisfying. Benny stresses the importance of realignment and self-awareness to maintain this balance. He shares personal insights about timing in love and career, emphasizing that life unfolds at its own pace and that patience and self-understanding are vital.

The Importance of Persistence and Consistency

Benny recounts long, arduous journeys to success, including a hit song that took nearly a year to climb the charts. Despite fears, doubts, and multiple hurdles, he persisted by taking small consistent actions daily. He stresses that success isn't about immediate ease but about continuing to show up, work hard, and learn from setbacks. His advice is to focus on consistent forward movement, trust the process, and recognize that failure is just part of the growth.

Facing and Overcoming Fears, Including the Fear of Flying

Benny candidly shares his ongoing fear of flying, illustrating how he has worked to confront and manage this fear over time. He describes creative solutions like taking a boat across the Atlantic and gradually reducing his fear's impact through deliberate exposure. His story demonstrates that fears may never fully disappear, but one can learn to move forward despite them through persistence and courage. His message underscores that fears are often managed rather than eliminated, and progress is made one step at a time.

Defining Personal Values and Goals

Benny emphasizes the importance of clarity in what you want, exemplified by his exercise of making lists of qualities he desired in a partner and aligning his actions with those values. He advocates for deliberate intention in relationships, work, and life, encouraging listeners to identify their core priorities and set standards that align with their worthy aspirations. This process of introspection helps prevent settling and fosters a life crafted with purpose.

The Role of Timing and Self-Awareness in Success and Love

Benny reflects on how timing plays a crucial role in relationships and life opportunities. He shares his experience of how he and his wife, Selena Gomez, were in each other's lives for years before their relationship blossomed when the time was right. Benny talks about needing to develop self-awareness, balance, and readiness to fully embrace love and success. He points out that patience, growth, and understanding oneself are integral to recognizing the right moments for major life transitions.

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  • Mel Robbins's Resources and Links · Visit the podcast episode page for more resources. Try the 23g protein shot I drink every morning at puregeniusprotein.com. Join Mel's newsletter at melrobbins.com/newsletter. Explore her books and connect on social media links provided.

Show notes

In this episode, you’ll learn how to stop doubting yourself and get anything you want in life.

Mel is thrilled to introduce you to her incredible guest today – someone she’s admired and followed for years, and who is here today for YOU.

Benny Blanco is one of the most successful and sought-after music producers and songwriters in the world and one of the defining hitmakers of the 21st century. 

Benny is a 12-time Grammy-nominated songwriter and producer with 29 #1 hits and 19 songs that have over a billion streams on Spotify.

But, Benny didn’t start his impressive career with everything figured out. He didn’t grow up with money, some magical level of confidence, or everything figured out.

He built his career by showing up, failing, getting rejected, trying again, and learning through experience.

Today, Benny reveals what most people never see: the rejection, the fear, the self-doubt, and the countless moments when everything could have fallen apart.

And he will show you the life-changing tools and strategies that have helped him push through nonstop rejection and setbacks.

Benny has also written a fantastic brand-new book called “F*ck Failure” – which happens to be exactly the message he’s here to share with you today:

Every single failure is leading you somewhere, even if you can’t see it right now.

Your life can look entirely different a year from now. If you want the dream job, true love, unshakeable confidence, better friendships, or more happiness, Benny wants you to know there’s one rule:

Keep showing up. 

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

-The simple mindset shift Benny uses to erase failure and keep moving 

-Why you’re only one small move away from changing your life for the better 

-Why waiting to feel ready is a losing game 

-The wild story behind a #1 hit that almost never happened, and why it proves you can’t give up 

-How to stop letting self-doubt make your decisions 

-How to keep showing up when you’re exhausted, embarrassed, or convinced you have no idea what you’re doing 

-How to face the fears you’ve been avoiding for years 

-How a list Benny made before he started dating his wife, Selena Gomez, can help you stop settling in your own life 

This conversation will make you rethink every failure, every rejection, and every excuse you have been using to stay stuck.  

As Benny will show you, failure doesn’t have to break you. It’s the very thing that can make you unstoppable. 

If he can turn his failures into hits, you can turn yours into the life you’ve been wanting to live. 

For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page.  

If you liked the episode, check out this one next: A Process for Finding Purpose: Do THIS to Build the Life You Want 
 

Mel also wants to tell you:


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