Winning the Battle Against Yourself

Key takeaways

Our conscious minds often believe we have control over our decisions, but unconscious processes frequently direct our actions.
People often struggle to follow through on their intentions, leading to feelings of frustration and bafflement.
The brain's value system favors immediate rewards over long-term benefits, influencing our decisions to often favor short-term gratification.
Social contexts play a vital role in our choices; understanding this can help us harness social influences positively.
Reframing goals to emphasize enjoyable aspects can aid in better aligning our actions with desired outcomes.

Summary

The Illusion of Control Over Our Choices

In the opening, Shankar Vedantam discusses the film 'Being John Malkovich' as a metaphor for the hidden influences that shape our decisions. Despite believing we are in control of our minds and choices in everyday life—such as what to eat or how to spend money—much of our behavior is guided by unconscious mental processes. These 'puppeteers' direct our actions without our conscious awareness, leading to outcomes that often go against our best interests.

Temptations and Unfinished Resolutions

Shankar and guest Emily Falk delve into the pervasive struggles we face when attempting to follow through on resolutions, such as losing weight, saving money, or spending quality time with loved ones. They touch on the feeling of being pulled away from our intentions, despite wanting to fulfill them, which is a common narrative in modern life. Emily shares personal anecdotes to illustrate the relatable nature of these struggles.

The Value System in Decision-Making

Emily explains the 'value system' of the brain, which influences how we assess choices and make decisions. This part of the brain helps us weigh immediate rewards against long-term benefits, often prioritizing what feels gratifying in the moment. Emily highlights anecdotal examples comparing immediate rewards like eating dessert with long-term goals such as health management, revealing how we often cave to short-term temptations.

Social Influence and Our Decisions

The episode expands on how our decisions are affected by social contexts and the behavior of those around us. Emily discusses the 'social relevance system' and how it shapes our choices based on what others think or do. She recounts her own epiphany regarding Benedict Cumberbatch's appeal, emphasizing that our preferences can be influenced significantly by the opinions and actions of others.

Strategies for Better Decision-Making

Towards the conclusion, Shankar and Emily explore ways to partner with our brain's value system rather than fight against it. They suggest reframing our choices to prioritize immediate rewards that align with long-term goals. Emily shares effective techniques for connecting goals with identity, making resolutions feel more intrinsic and achievable. These strategies are not only practical but also grounded in psychological principles.

Show notes

Many of us have been raised to believe that if we want to get something done, we just need to set our minds to it. Where there's a will, there's a way, right? Yet somehow we end up polishing off that pint of ice cream in the freezer, or spending more than our budget allows. It's almost as if we're not the ones in charge. This week, we talk with psychologist and neuroscientist Emily Falk about why our minds often conspire against our best interests, and how we can regain control.

Do you have follow-up questions or thoughts for Emily Falk after listening to today’s conversation? If you’d be willing to share with the Hidden Brain audience, please record a voice memo on your phone and email it to us at ideas@hiddenbrain.org. Use the subject line “mental barriers.” Thanks!

And if you love Hidden Brain, please consider joining our podcast subscription, Hidden Brain+. We're currently offering an extended 30-day free trial for all listeners who subscribe on Apple Podcasts during the month of September. To sign up, click the "Subscribe" or "Try Free" button in Apple Podcasts, or go to apple.co/hiddenbrain. Your subscription helps to fund the research, writing, and sound design that go into every episode of the show. We appreciate your support!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.