Wellness 2.0: Who Do You Want To Be?

Key takeaways

Often, people pursue goals that do not reflect their true values, leading to dissatisfaction.
Cultural, societal, and familial expectations can heavily influence personal goal setting, often to the detriment of individual happiness.
Self-concordance—the alignment of goals with intrinsic motivations—is essential for personal fulfillment.
Mindfulness and introspection can help individuals connect with their deeper motivations.
Significant life changes require courage and a willingness to confront societal perceptions and personal fears.

Summary

The Quest for Meaningful Goals

In this episode of Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam explores the challenges of finding meaningful goals in life with psychologist Ken Sheldon. Despite the plethora of advice from various sources, many individuals still feel stuck because their pursuits are often out of alignment with their deepest values. This discussion emphasizes that childhood and societal expectations shape our goals, yet many fail to understand what will truly make them happy.

Lessons from Personal Experience

Ken Sheldon shares his personal journey from aspiring musician to psychologist. He recounts setbacks in his early music career and experiences with different educational paths, including existential psychotherapy and S-training seminars, illustrating a common struggle of young adults searching for purpose. Through these experiences, he learned that external expectations often cloud one's understanding of personal aspirations.

Cultural Influences on Goal Setting

Shankar and Ken discuss the pervasive influence of societal standards, such as wealth and status, on individual goal selection. They highlight the dangers of blindly following cultural norms, which leads many to pursue goals that do not align with their intrinsic motivations. This might manifest particularly in career paths chosen based on prestige rather than personal satisfaction, exemplified through Ken's collaboration with law students.

The Importance of Self-Concordance

Ken introduces the concept of self-concordance, the alignment of one's goals with intrinsic motivations and values. He explains how many struggle to hear their inner desires due to external influences. Through the lens of psychological research, he shares methods to foster self-concordance, including reflecting on personal values and utilizing mindfulness practices to connect with less conscious motivations.

Navigating Change and Motivation

The podcast closes with a discussion on the journey toward intrinsic motivation and the process of making significant life changes. Ken illustrates this through the story of 'Amy,' who, despite external success, found fulfillment only after rediscovering her true passions. The conversation emphasizes that transitioning to a more satisfying path can be fraught with challenges but ultimately leads to greater happiness.

Show notes

We all have to make certain choices in life, such as where to live and how to earn a living. Parents and peers influence our major life choices, but they can also steer us in directions that leave us deeply unsatisfied. This week: a favorite conversation with psychologist Ken Sheldon about the science of figuring out what you want. He says there are things we can do to make sure our choices align with our deepest values.

If you're not yet a member of Hidden Brain+, this is a particularly good time to give our podcast subscription a try. We’re extending our standard seven-day trial period for listeners on Apple Podcasts. Sign up in January and you’ll get 30 free days to try it out. If you're listening in Apple Podcasts, just go to the Hidden Brain show page and click "try free." Or you can go to apple.co/hiddenbrain and click "try free.” Thanks for listening and supporting the show — we really appreciate it.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.