Parenting Through Divorce: Helping Kids Heal, Co-Parent Well & Trust God :: Vaneetha Risner [Ep 565]

Vanita Risner emphasizes that parenting after divorce is a long-term journey, urging parents not to judge their success by immediate outcomes. She underscores the importance of trusting God with their children’s futures and reminds mothers that they are not responsible for their children's ultimate faith or life choices. The key is faithfulness, obedience, and trusting God's sovereignty over the outcome, fostering hope and perseverance amid ongoing challenges.

The episode discusses the importance of authentic emotional expression for parents, especially when navigating their children’s struggles. Vanita admits that she often hid her pain and anger to appear strong, which inadvertently led her children to some misunderstandings about their own feelings and faith. She advocates for age-appropriate honesty that acknowledges both parents’ struggles, which models genuine faith and emotional health for children. She shares her own mistake of bottling up pain and the healing power of asking for forgiveness and vulnerability.

Vanita explores how children grapple with faith questions when faced with suffering, such as feeling abandoned by God or questioning His care and power. She shares personal stories of her children's honest questions about God's presence during their hardships and emphasizes the importance of honest but age-appropriate responses. Vanita highlights the value of openly acknowledging the difficulty and leaning into Scripture and prayer, even when clear answers are elusive. Her example shows how faith can deepen through questions and suffering, and that it’s okay to admit 'I don’t know'.

The discussion covers practical advice on navigating co-parenting, especially when parents live apart with different rules and values. Vanita encourages maintaining a respectful relationship with the other parent, avoiding gossip or negative talk in front of children, and trusting God in the process. She advocates for shielding children from conflict, being consistent within your own home, and recognizing that children's perceptions are often intuitive. Her emphasis is on protecting their emotional well-being while honoring the parental relationship.

Vanita offers reassurance that parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. She encourages moms to be faithful, consistent, and prayerful, trusting God's sovereignty over outcomes. She acknowledges the mistakes made along the way but also highlights the importance of humility, seeking forgiveness, and modeling reliance on God's grace. Her overarching message is to lean into God and His promises, knowing that He is the true restorer of hearts and relationships.