10 Parenting Tips Backed by Child Psychology

Key takeaways

Celebrate small wins to build children's confidence.
Practice empathetic listening to connect with your child's feelings.
Maintain your emotional regulation to help your child learn self-regulation.
Repair and reflect after losing control; model vulnerability.
Incorporate structure and routines for a predictable home environment.
Regular check-ins can strengthen parent-child relationships.
Communicate clear expectations using positive language.
Plan family activities that everyone looks forward to.
Engage in learning new skills together to nurture curiosity.
Be intentional about creating fun moments amidst daily routines.

Summary

Celebrating Wins in Parenting

Dr. Courtney Tolitsky emphasizes the importance of celebrating children's achievements, no matter how small. Acknowledging everyday successes can help build children's confidence and mental well-being, especially as they face frequent criticism. Parents should focus on praising the process—like effort and determination—rather than just outcomes.

Empathetic Listening vs. Problem Solving

The podcast discusses the importance of empathetic listening in parenting, specifically the need to validate children's feelings without rushing to solve their problems. Dr. Tolitsky indicates that children often seek understanding and support from their parents, whereas parents may instinctively aim to fix issues, which can hinder emotional connection.

Practicing Co-Regulation

This section highlights the necessity for parents to maintain their own emotional regulation to help soothe their children. By modeling calm behavior, parents can provide a secure base that helps kids learn to manage their own emotions. Dr. Tolitsky recommends regular check-ins on parental emotional states to help facilitate this process.

Repairing After Losing Control

When parents lose their cool, it's vital to revisit the situation and acknowledge mistakes. Apologizing can instill a sense of maturity and responsibility in children. The podcast stresses that demonstrating vulnerability and the willingness to improve will encourage children to embrace their own imperfections.

The Role of Structure in Parenting

Dr. Tolitsky advocates for incorporating structure into family routines through shared calendars and rituals, which can help children feel secure and prepared for their daily lives. Simple traditions, such as taco Tuesdays or family game nights, can bring joy and predictability to family life.

Developing Check-In Routines

The hosts discuss the importance of regular emotional check-ins with children, tailored to their developmental stages. Engaging in activities, like family dinners or car rides, can provide non-confrontational environments for deeper conversations and connection.

Communicating Expectations Positively

Parents are encouraged to state expectations in positive terms rather than focusing on negative behaviors. Clear communication helps children understand what is expected of them, fostering a calmer and more structured environment.

Anticipation and Planning Family Activities

Creating meaningful events and experiences to look forward to can enhance family bonding. Involving children in planning these activities fosters a sense of ownership and excitement, setting the stage for lasting memories.

Learning New Skills Together

The podcast highlights the value of teaching children new skills through collaborative learning experiences. Engaging in shared activities like music or crafts can boost children's self-confidence and nurture a sense of curiosity and passion.

Finding Fun in Everyday Life

To counteract the monotony of daily routines, families are encouraged to intentionally seek out fun moments. Whether through music, dance, or spontaneous play, these interactions can foster deeper connections and leave lasting memories.

Show notes

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In the very first episode of Phases, Dr. Courtney Tolinski, a licensed clinical and educational psychologist with over 15 years working with families, sits down with her husband Scott to share their top 10 parenting tips for 2026. Grounded in child development, emotional regulation, and attachment theory, these tips cover how we communicate with our kids, how we manage our own stress as parents, and how to build connection through everyday moments. Courtney and Scott get real about what this looks like in their own home, from kitchen dance parties and 3D printer adventures to a Disney trip cancelled by a hurricane. If you're looking for judgment-free, psychology-backed parenting advice that actually feels doable, start here. Pick one tip that hits home and build from there.

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