Why Back-to-School Is Harder for Some Kids and What Actually Helps

Key takeaways

Transitions to school are challenging because they involve a shift from summer routines to structured days, often causing stress and anxiety for children.
Early preparation, including conversations, routine adjustments, and familiarization with the school environment, can ease the transition for children, especially neurodiverse or anxious kids.
Building relationships with teachers and setting up support systems within schools helps children feel more secure and supported.
Post-transition, it's important to lower expectations, maintain routines, and celebrate progress to help children recover and adapt.
Parents should utilize available resources, like toolkits and scripts, to communicate effectively with teachers and support their children’s needs.

Summary

The Challenges of Back-to-School Transition

This section discusses why returning to school can be particularly difficult for many children. Key issues include the shift from the relaxed, less structured summer routines to the regimented school day, which can take weeks for children to adjust to. The feelings of excitement mixed with nervousness, and the common experiences of anxiety, concerns about social interactions, and the stress of changing routines are highlighted. The discussion also emphasizes that such emotions and behaviors are normal, especially for neurodiverse and anxious children, and that understanding these reactions helps in providing appropriate support.

Preparing for the Back-to-School Transition

This part offers practical advice for parents on how to support their children before school starts. The importance of reflecting on past years to identify specific struggles such as difficulty with drop-offs, sleeping issues, or regressions is emphasized. Parents are encouraged to start conversations with their kids early, foster excitement about the new year while normalizing feelings of anxiety, and gradually adjust sleep schedules and routines to help children transition smoothly. Organizing school supplies and practicing skills like opening lunchboxes are also recommended to build confidence and independence.

Support Strategies for Neurodiverse and Anxious Kids

Focusing on children with diverse needs, this section underscores tailored strategies such as visiting the school beforehand, practicing routines, and setting up a support network within the school environment. Creating opportunities for children to meet key adults like teachers or counselors, and providing children with a designated 'go-to person' at school can help reduce anxiety. The importance of early communication with teachers via email or meetings, using scripts to ease fears, and fostering familiarity to encourage smoother transitions is discussed. The use of toolkits and resources for parents, including sample scripts and checklists, is highlighted as valuable.

The Post-Transition Phase and Ongoing Support

After children return to school, the focus shifts to managing the initial challenges. Parents are advised to lower expectations, keep routines light, and limit after-school activities to help children recover from the strenuous first weeks. Reflecting on what worked well, what needs adjusting, and supporting children with their feelings are key steps for ongoing success. Celebrating small wins and maintaining open communication are also emphasized. Lastly, the podcast stresses the importance of recognizing that emotional and behavioral reactions are normal during this period and adjusting parental expectations accordingly.

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Courtney Tolinski and her husband, Scott, talk about why the back to school season can be harder for many kids. It's filled with big transitions and more structure, which often lead to big feelings and behaviors. Topics discussed include:

Why going back-to-school is often hard for kids.
How to prep your kids for the transition in the weeks leading up to going back to school.
Special considerations for neurodiverse kids.
Scripts that parents can use to help their kids stay calm and feel confident the night before and week of.
Remembering to celebrate the wins and shift the hard stuff after the first week.
How to access our back-to-school guide for neurodiverse kids.

Got a question for Dr. Courtney? Leave it here and we may answer it in our next Q&A.