Hidden Levels: Choose Your Player (Side Quest)

Key takeaways

Video games offer a unique outlet for identity exploration, especially for LGBTQ individuals.
Choosing avatars allows gamers to experiment with aspects of their identity in a safe space.
Stef's journey illustrates the profound impact of gaming on self-acceptance and personal growth.
Therapeutic engagement through gaming can provide essential support for youth facing gender identity challenges.
The gaming community's culture is evolving to become more inclusive, allowing for diverse representations and experiences.

Summary

Choosing Your Player: The Power of Identity in Gaming

In this episode of 'Hidden Levels,' Stef Sanjati, a content creator with a strong focus on makeup and gaming, shares how her gaming journey began with World of Warcraft, where she found solace and identity through avatar customization. Growing up in a small town with a rare genetic condition, Waardenburg Syndrome, she often faced bullying. Her experiences in gaming allowed her to explore her gender identity, providing a powerful escape from reality.

The Impact of Digital Avatars on Real Life

Stef recounts her emotional connection to her character, Lays, in World of Warcraft, reflecting her journey of self-acceptance as a transgender woman. The avatar became a representation of her identity prior to her transition, showcasing how choice in character appearance can profoundly impact self-image and acceptance.

Therapeutic Benefits of Gaming for LGBTQ Youth

Featuring Dr. Shin Rivera, the discussion delves into the therapeutic aspects of gaming for LGBTQ youth. Dr. Rivera highlights how game avatars serve as transitional objects that allow individuals to experiment with gender identity in a safe environment. This therapeutic use of gaming helps clients express parts of themselves they may feel unsafe showcasing in real life.

The Intersection of Gender and Gaming Culture

The episode examines broader themes of gender within the gaming community. It discusses how character selection can be tied to personal identity exploration, with statistics showing trends among male gamers choosing female avatars. This exploration challenges societal norms and fosters a space for self-discovery.

Steph's Evolving Relationship with Her Avatars

As Stef's understanding of her identity matured, so did her relationship with her avatars in gaming. After transitioning, Stef embraced characters that more closely aligned with her authentic self, choosing to embody characters that represented her not just in gender identity but also in the strength and agency she now felt in her life.

Show notes

Today, Stef Sanjati is a creator on YouTube with over half a million subscribers. Her content mostly focuses on her two greatest loves — makeup and gaming — often combining the two with her otherworldly video game-inspired beauty tutorials.

Growing up in small-town Ontario, though, Stef was a quiet, introverted kid who was bullied a lot. For one thing, she looked different from her peers. Having been born with a rare genetic condition called Waardenburg Syndrome, Stef has several distinct physical features, including wide-set blue eyes and a natural streak of white hair.

But there was something else that she didn’t quite have the words for back then – something she felt closest to while playing as her favorite avatar in World of Warcraft, the massively multiplayer online role-playing game by Blizzard Entertainment. That something else was that Stef is trans.

Choosing your player is a near-ubiquitous experience in gaming. Whether it's picking from a stock of ready-made options in Mario Kart or carefully calibrating a custom avatar in World of Warcraft, a gamer's choice of character has a huge impact on the gaming experience. But when a gamer is given the chance to choose, or even build, a brand new identity outside of the one they experience every day, the potential impact goes far beyond simple gameplay.

Credits

This episode was written and produced by Frannie Monahan and edited by Meg Cramer. Mix, sound design and music composition by Paul Vaitkus.

"Hidden Levels" is a production of 99% Invisible and WBUR's Endless Thread. The Managing Producer for Hidden Levels is Chris Berube. The series was created by Ben Brock Johnson. Series theme by Swan Real and Paul Vaitkus. Series art by Aaron Nestor.